When you don’t know if you are dreaming…

Our topic for OT 182, Occupational Therapy in Physical Dysfunctions, today is Integration of Intervention and Treatment Considerations for Pediatric Populations. Ooppss… Nose bleed. Hehe.

This was the flow of the discussion:

1. Cerebral Palsy
2. Down Syndrome
3. Muscular Dystrophies
4. Arthrogryposis
5. Spina Bifida
6. Seizure Disorders

We have talked about these conditions a lot that I was sort of desensitized and I just looked at the conditions objectively and distantly. Please note that I emphasized condition. We have always been taught never to look at our clients as mere cases… and falling in the pitfall of managing the condition rather than the person. The client-centered practice has always been drilled to us. Anyway, I remembered that during the first few times we had lectures about these conditions, mostly last sem, I was close to breaking into tears. They are chronic conditions with no known cure. Kids who have them present a whole lot of functional limitations. It is just so hard to imagine how they would be able to live normal lives. Some consider them hopeless… but there are OTs to the rescue! Yehey! I cannot possibly put everything that we can do for these kids here. But in a nutshell, we make sure that each of these kids can have a quality life. Hehe. Can you see my obvious bias in favor of my course?

By the end of the lecture Sir Eric asked if we want to talk about other conditions that are commonly referred to OT but were not tackled during the formal lecture. Ica said that she handled a child with visual impairment (VI) during the evaluation practicum. So we had a bonus lecture about VI kids. VI kids are mostly born blind. Others acquire their visual impairment during the first year of their lives. They practically have no visual memory. But all along I thought blind kids fare better than other kids that we talked about. I was wrong.

One of the questions posted that really struck me and broke my heart for VI kids…
Sir: Do visually impaired kids have dreams?

Class: Yes!

Sir: What do they dream about?

Mumbles from the class: Definitely not images…

Sir: Yes, they dream about sounds and touches.

Sir: Now, how will these kids differentiate being awake from being asleep & dreaming?

Very hard. The main sensations VI kids experience when they are awake are sounds and tactile inputs. It is logical that these are what they dream about because these are the things stored in their memories. But with no concept of day and night, and being in a world of eternal darkness, knowing if the sensations are happening in real time or just a product of a dream would prove to be extremely difficult.

How about if the child has both visual and hearing impairment? The world suddenly becomes too distant…

Senses that we often neglect and forget to be grateful about are not appreciated unless we know of somebody who were deprived of them. Cliche. Yet true.

Science of a Movie Review

I have never written a movie review and I’m not intending to write one now. Rather, I am going to blabber some observations I have uhm, observed, between me and movies.

It has been a long time since I watched an animated film. But an hour ago I finished watching Ratatouille. LOVE it! I have always found it odd that I enjoy watching animated films more than “human” films. Maybe because the storytelling is uncomplicated and heartwarming. The visuals are feast to the eyes. The laughter evoked is more genuine. Simple yet stunning at the same time. Funny but deep. The lessons blend well with the stories that they don’t appear as preaching and nagging . These films make me think without me knowing it. Their stories are child-like… innocent but filled with wisdom. Movies like Finding Nemo and Ratatouille:)

I have this habit of checking movie reviews before watching it. My all-time favorite review site is Rotten Tomatoes. Their reviews can be extremely harsh. But understandably so. For instance, Just My Luck received very poor ratings and I wouldn’t wonder why:)

Most of the movies I like have good reviews. Hehe. Which makes me feel a bit proud of my movie taste:) It seems that I can pick a good movie and know that it is good. But there are movies that I really like that received just average ratings. This makes me upset because it means that I’m still far from being a movie connoisseur. LoL. Seriously though, I used to fall for the trap that for my choices to be validated they have to be accepted by the society. If a movie review says it is superb and excellent then it is, even though I didn’t understand a thing in the movie. If a renowned movie critic said the movie is formulaic and cliche then it is, even though I felt good watching the movie.

I’m so over that society-conforming attitude now. I’m not a non-conformist either. I just decided to be true to myself. I don’t care if the movie is jologs but if I like it, then I like it. I realized that looking at things that way widens my perspective. I don’t have to be boxed by what the society thinks as a perfect ten movie and a flop movie. Movies are not only meant to be watched using the brain nor the emotions. It should be a balance of the two, just like yin and yang.

I’m far from being a movie expert but learning to trust the harmony of my thoughts and feelings in judging a movie makes me feel like I’m the best critic out there. Well, at least in my opinion:)

Arranged Marriage

When Occupational Therapy subjects drown me like a tidal wave… I begin to hear the call of the business world getting louder…

It is like being stuck in an arranged marriage. I can choose to call it quits anytime but when I think about the time and effort I have invested in this “relationship”, the thought of escaping becomes doubly hard. For-the-kids’-sake sort of guilty feeling.

I cannot rant about this dilemma because it was my decision to stay. Everything around me was pointing to the direction of the exit. Away from OT. Away from UP. But for reasons that even i cannot comprehend, I’m still here. Still struggling to keep the “relationship” floating. Trying to be happy in a world where I don’t belong.

Nobody seems to understand me here in CAMP. Believe me, the feeling is mutual. Don’t get me wrong. It is not OT’s problem that I’m lost in its world. I’ve caused this to myself. Why I wrote Occupational Therapy in the UPCAT form is another story. What is absurd is why I chose to stay lost when I have the option to pack and leave… for good. And finally put my life in order. Hopefully.

I’ve stayed with OT for TWO long years. Yes. You can call me stupid. I was lost for two years. I still am. And will probably remain lost and stupid until 2009. Uh huh. I actually have plans on finishing OT. How stupid can that be?

You see, I cannot seem to leave OT. Okay, I will let that sink in first. Nah. It is not about staying for the sake of being in a (ehem) prestigious school. An OT student’s life in CAMP is anything but rosy. In a nutshell our life here is toxicity + hell = normal week. I’d exchange prestigious with sleeptime without second thoughts. Can “Number 1 University” save me from premature burn-out?! I don’t think so. I can find a gazillion reasons to leave OT and not a single reason to stay. But when I have convinced myself that I’m ready to seek for another course and school, an odd thing happens. I suddenly and weirdly feel the need to stay. Yuck. Maybe, just maybe, in the depths of my being I have learned to love OT. Double yuck.

Well, at least I have a reason that drives me to stay in OT. No matter how cheesy and yucky.

Anything Goes

Three days to go and back to school mode. Ambivalence. Glad that I will finally have something to do and sad at the same time because after a week I’m sure I don’t want to do what it is that I have to do.

Almost three weeks of sem break and I incredibly wrote zero blog entries. Zero. Nada. Nothing. Ironic right? During the hell sem I was looking forward to sem break so I can post as many entries as my creative juices can squeeze. Nothing came out. Just poor attempts. I’m exerting every effort I can muster now so I can at least finish this one and this entry can gain some internet real estate not like its million predecessors.

Writer’s (feeling) rut invaded me for the break. I would type a few words then I’d hit the delete button. Just like that and the thoughts that I have managed to type were lost into oblivion. But last sem even if I have 20 deadlines to meet, 56 exams to pass, and 8 more stages at Cake Mania to finish I still find time to let my blog know I haven’t forgotten it. I guess that I get most of my ideas and thoughts on the lame adventures I go through during schooldays. I don’t know why I feel the need to immortalize my stories and post them for the whole world to read. That is, if anyone does read them. Well for one, it keeps my few ounces of creative juices from totally evaporating.

Now I’m not really sure of what my topic is. This is one those anything goes blog entry.

I enrolled last Wednesday. No Enrolment Eskapeyds to tell. The enrollment was a breeze. We’re done after an hour and a half. Boring. Five sems down and three more to go. Until now, I’m still amazed of the wonders of prayer. That and a lot of cramming helped me so I can still check continuing and regular student on my form 5 last Wednesday. I know that I’m far from a model student. Get college done and over with so I can get a life.

My Vierhundert friends are laughing at me because I have an assignment during the break for my 2nd sem class. It sucks but I’m okay with it really. We need to have a 20-hour job experience of any manual work. So I, Kei, and Lorine chose car wash. It was fun! Plus I had something to do aside from playing Cake Mania, Build-a-lot, and Capitalism II… and reading books, from A Time to Kill to A Millionaire’s Mind… and watching TV series and all sorts of movies… and losing a lot of hours in ZZZZs. The thing I hate about the assignment is the paper work. Hello? Why not just pass a one-page reflection paper and pictures. Cut the other craps. I don’t know why CAMP profs love to torture themselves and torture the students as well. I get it that no one likes to check 26 boring papers that talk about elbow extensions, dexterity, gross prehension patterns, maximum amount of muscle strength, need for ability to follow instructions, and so on. So if they don’t want to check one (what more 26?), we definitely don’t want to write one, why the hell give an assignment like that?! We can all save ourselves a lot of energy, neurons, pen ink, and electricity. And we can help the environment by not using papers. Hehe. If you’re wondering why I’m fuming about this assignment… one, it is toxic, two, it is lame, and lastly I haven’t type a single word about it! By the way, it is due on the first day of class! If you want to add some misery to your life, apply for a degree in CAMP.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m beginning to like my course. About time I think because if all goes well I’ll graduate after three sems. It’s quite hard to imagine what would happen to me with a diploma framed, no allowance, officially part of the unemployment statistics, and still not in good terms with my course. I just don’t get it why they have to subject us to unnecessary pressures and hardships. The operative term is unnecessary. But what can I do? They come with the package.

I’m still thankful for everything. For my God. For my family. For my friends. For my *ehem* education. For every blessing… because life is beautiful and I’m extremely glad that I’m living one;)

Jet Lagged and Tanned Neurons

I’m supposed to be studying for my Physiology exam on Monday but my neurons are begging me to stop and to let them rest for a while. They said that they want to go on a Caribbean cruise. I’m afraid that they might collapse so I let them go. They might take long because they hinted of getting a tan in the Bahamas so in the meantime I’ll just blog. Blogging relaxes me:) By the way, my neurons are spoiled brats. They grumbled to me of exhausting them too much when I was actually just reading the title of the hand-out! Bad neurons.

Let us see if anything happened interesting to me… Ah! Yesterday was interesting:)

I had an Anatomy exam at 8 in the morning. Biomechanics of the Upper and Lower Extremities plus Nerve & Blood Supply of the Lower Extremities. Difficult as usual. Weird also. Imagine shaking hands, waving your hands, mopping the floor, fencing, golfing… all alone while seating. We all looked stupid. Cute… but stupid. Hehe. Exam was over by 10.

Then had to pass the 180 fieldwork papers. Accumulated dump trucks of photocopied hand-outs again for the exams next week. Which is also equivalent to a gigantic decrease in the net worth of my wallet:( I made Lorine angry by reading her reflection paper. Ooops… Hehe. Ang kulit ko. Then Lieto Septem minus Lorine was off to the College of Medicine Library to borrow Guyton’s Physiology. This serves as my security blanket. I don’t read it. Katabi ko lang matulog. AS IF the contents of which will miraculously go into my brain through osmosis. If it happens, I swear, I’m going to write to Vatican. Then we had lunch. Then I and JJ accompanied Iya to buy her godchild some rock star ensemble at Gingersnaps. By the way, the kid is just 3 years old. Adorable! Ninang Iya doesn’t even know her size. Susko ha. Hehe.

Then I went to MOA. Haha. Andami kong oras. Parang hindi finals month. I did what I had to do there then rush to Natio. I had to buy a book. Genius me, I forgot the title and the author. Haha. I was dying to buy that book and I CAN’T remember the title. Amf. I saw it at Natio Megamall last Sunday. If I can’t find the book at MOA then I’ll go to Mega! Haha. I can be extremely determined if I want to. Now… if I can just put that perseverance in the context of studying, I’m sure I’ll save myself from a lot of troubles:)

I was beside myself with elation (haha… exagg) when I saw the book. There sitting discretely at the shelf where I saw it last Sunday. Bought it without second thoughts. Are you wondering what the book is and how special it is for me to travel the vastness of EDSA just to get a copy of it? It is a coloring book:) Hahahahaha!

Oopps. You got me. Of course it is not a coloring book. I assure you my sanity is still intact. Unless of course it is a coloring book of Prince Pierre Casiraghi:) Basta. Secret:) I just fell in love with it at first sight. But I stopped myself from buying it last Sunday to see if it would still mean something to me after a few centuries. Barely a week after our rendezvous and there I was standing in the queue, seconds away from legally owning the book. It is quite expensive too. It really depleted my already negative pocket. By the way, I finished the book at around 2 this afternoon. Worth every penny:)

Back to my Friday impulsive adventure. I suddenly realized I was hungry. Went to Krispy Kreme. Poof. Crowded. I contented myself with takuyaki balls and siomai at the food court. I didn’t know I miss siomai and takuyaki balls a lot. Ate lots of them. Hehe. The gluttony in me. While I was immersing myself in the ocean of takuyaki balls, siomai, and lemonade someone approached me. Creepy. Tapos sabi niya, “Hi! Taga-UP rin ako. Pwede ka ma-interview for a survey?” I was cracking my brain on how she found out that I was from UP. Then I saw “Medical Library U.P. Manila” printed proudly at the side of Guyton’s Physiology book. Hehe. For the spirit of Christmas and since she is an Iska too, I agreed. The survey was about the environment so my nose was bleeding the whole time.

Then time to go home. BUS RIDE!!! BUS RIDE!!! BUS RIDE!!! Need I say more? Maybe when I’m extremely rich I’m going to buy a bus:) I love bus rides. Got stuck in Makati traffic. But a bus ride is still a bus ride:)

My neurons are back with a little jet lag and beautiful tan. But I guess they are ready:) Time to attack the Physio hand-outs!