I had my semi-annual eye check-up this afternoon.

Guess what?! My opthalmologist is considering me a good candidate for Lasik Surgery. Yehyehyeh!

I have always thought and I have always been told that I can’t get the surgery until I’m in my twenties. I was so ecstatic because I thought I can have the surgery earlier than expected. Then it hit me as I was going out of the clinic that by May next year I will officially be a young adult. Hehe. I’ll be 20! Gosh! Time flies. I can’t believe it has been nine years since my eyes started acting like brats, demanding to be pampered and be given attention.

My eyes went on a premature retirement when I was 13. They decided to start looking at things in a blurry way from the time I entered highschool. I didn’t mind wearing glasses until junior year. That was when my nose started to assume a deformed posture. That was when my temple area developed a Panama Canal on each side courtesy of my glasses. That was when I complained of the inconvenience of not being able to sleep comfortably in class because my glasses hit the desk everytime I put my head on the desk. That was when Prom was just around the corner. I convinced my parents that it was time I wear contact lenses.

I had my first pair of contacts when I was 15. I had at least 8 contacts changes not to mention the 6 lenses that went missing in action. My parents threatened to burn me everytime I break out the news that one of my contacts has been vacuumed by a Martian spaceship. I wore contacts until May this year then I decided to return to glasses. My optha commented that when everybody else is switching to contacts I am moving in the opposite direction. I called it contact lenses fatigue. I wore contacts everyday since February 2004 and it has become tiring and also expensive. There are nights when I forgot to take them off. Then I get so scared in the morning that I aggravated Doña Mata’s condition. I sort of fell out of love with contacts. I missed the fuss-free way of donning my glasses and I’m off to go. No more routines in the morning and hopefully evening if I don’t forget that something foreign is sitting on top of my retina. So after three years I got a new pair of glasses. I never felt this relaxed for a long time:) But I also miss the carefree feeling when I’m not wearing glasses. So this Christmas I’m buying myself another set of contacts. After all, I will hopefully not be wearing them for a long time… Lasik here I come:)

Dr. Palmero said that if the grades of my eyes will not change for at least 2 more check-ups or 6 more months I can get the surgery. I’ve always dreamed of this surgery since I was 15. So I’m doing some behavioral management techniques on my eyes. I’m telling them that if they’ll be good and they can stay stable for 6 more months I’ll get them a nice pair of shades after the surgery. But if they change so slightly and increase in grades I’ll condemn them to suffer from contact lenses irritation forever. Hehe. I’ve gone nuts.

Now my problem is where to get funds. I remember that I told my parents about the surgery when I was 14 or 15. They were as excited as me. Then I told them that one eye costs 50 grands. They told me that I can get the surgery later. Like when I have a paycheck already. Ergo, I have to pay for it myself. Poof. I checked how much it will cost me at The Lasik Surgery Clinic and it said: P50,000($1000) both eyes. Can’t believe this! I thought it will cost me P100,000.00 for both eyes. Yehey! Kaya! Ilang clients lang yan pag-OT na ako. Hehe. But my opthalmologist is from UST/Medical City so I guess I have to undergo the procedure from either the two hospitals. Sayang. The Lasik Surgery Clinic looks so cool.

Before I left kanina, Dr. Palmero said, “Anyway, we’re not in a hurry. You’re still young.” Uh-uh doc.  I want that surgery ASAP. Hehe. My eyes are brats. I hope my eyes can wait until I can have clients so I can pay for their surgery.

Our topic for OT 182, Occupational Therapy in Physical Dysfunctions, today is Integration of Intervention and Treatment Considerations for Pediatric Populations. Ooppss… Nose bleed. Hehe.

This was the flow of the discussion:

1. Cerebral Palsy
2. Down Syndrome
3. Muscular Dystrophies
4. Arthrogryposis
5. Spina Bifida
6. Seizure Disorders

We have talked about these conditions a lot that I was sort of desensitized and I just looked at the conditions objectively and distantly. Please note that I emphasized condition. We have always been taught never to look at our clients as mere cases… and falling in the pitfall of managing the condition rather than the person. The client-centered practice has always been drilled to us. Anyway, I remembered that during the first few times we had lectures about these conditions, mostly last sem, I was close to breaking into tears. They are chronic conditions with no known cure. Kids who have them present a whole lot of functional limitations. It is just so hard to imagine how they would be able to live normal lives. Some consider them hopeless… but there are OTs to the rescue! Yehey! I cannot possibly put everything that we can do for these kids here. But in a nutshell, we make sure that each of these kids can have a quality life. Hehe. Can you see my obvious bias in favor of my course?

By the end of the lecture Sir Eric asked if we want to talk about other conditions that are commonly referred to OT but were not tackled during the formal lecture. Ica said that she handled a child with visual impairment (VI) during the evaluation practicum. So we had a bonus lecture about VI kids. VI kids are mostly born blind. Others acquire their visual impairment during the first year of their lives. They practically have no visual memory. But all along I thought blind kids fare better than other kids that we talked about. I was wrong.

One of the questions posted that really struck me and broke my heart for VI kids…
Sir: Do visually impaired kids have dreams?

Class: Yes!

Sir: What do they dream about?

Mumbles from the class: Definitely not images…

Sir: Yes, they dream about sounds and touches.

Sir: Now, how will these kids differentiate being awake from being asleep & dreaming?

Very hard. The main sensations VI kids experience when they are awake are sounds and tactile inputs. It is logical that these are what they dream about because these are the things stored in their memories. But with no concept of day and night, and being in a world of eternal darkness, knowing if the sensations are happening in real time or just a product of a dream would prove to be extremely difficult.

How about if the child has both visual and hearing impairment? The world suddenly becomes too distant…

Senses that we often neglect and forget to be grateful about are not appreciated unless we know of somebody who were deprived of them. Cliche. Yet true.

I have never written a movie review and I’m not intending to write one now. Rather, I am going to blabber some observations I have uhm, observed, between me and movies.

Just some notes, I usually watch movies eons after they are released in cinemas. One, I’m not fond of going to movie houses. Second, I prefer watching movies alone because I don’t want to hear comments and other blahblahs while still pictures are becoming alive. It is extremely irritating having to listen to a movie buddy who can topple movie critics with his own opinions. Third, it is scary to go to movie houses alone. So there, those are the reasons why I’d rather rent from Video City, lie on my bed without a care in the world with my remote controls and potato chips within reach while watching movies. Besides, this “method” is cheaper:)

It has been a long time since I watched an animated film. But an hour ago I finished watching Ratatouille. LOVE it! I have always found it odd that I enjoy watching animated films more than “human” films. Maybe because the storytelling is uncomplicated and heartwarming. The visuals are feast to the eyes. The laughter evoked is more genuine. Simple yet stunning at the same time. Funny but deep. The lessons blend well with the stories that they don’t appear as preaching and nagging . These films make me think without me knowing it. Their stories are child-like… innocent but filled with wisdom. Movies like Finding Nemo and Ratatouille:)

I have this habit of checking movie reviews before watching it. My all-time favorite review site is Rotten Tomatoes. Their reviews can be extremely harsh. But understandably so. For instance, Just My Luck received very poor ratings and I wouldn’t wonder why:)

Most of the movies I like have good reviews. Hehe. Which makes me feel a bit proud of my movie taste:) It seems that I can pick a good movie and know that it is good. But there are movies that I really like that received just average ratings. This makes me upset because it means that I’m still far from being a movie connoisseur. Lol. Seriously though, I used to fall for the trap that for my choices to be validated they have to be accepted by the society. If a movie review says it is superb and excellent then it is, even though I didn’t understand a thing in the movie. If a renowned movie critic said the movie is formulaic and cliche then it is, even though I felt good watching the movie.

I’m so over that society-conforming attitude now. I’m not a non-conformist either. I just decided to be true to myself. I don’t care if the movie is jologs but if I like it, then I like it. I realized that looking at things that way widens my perspective. I don’t have to be boxed by what the society thinks as a perfect ten movie and a flop movie. Movies are not only meant to be watched using the brain nor the emotions. It should be a balance of the two, just like yin and yang.

I’m far from being a movie expert but learning to trust the harmony of my thoughts and feelings in judging a movie makes me feel like I’m the best critic out there. Well, at least in my opinion:)

When Occupational Therapy subjects drown me like a tidal wave… I begin to hear the call of the business world getting louder…

It is like being stuck in an arranged marriage. I can choose to call it quits anytime but when I think about the time and effort I have invested in this “relationship”, the thought of escaping becomes doubly hard. For-the-kids’-sake sort of guilty feeling.

I cannot rant about this dilemma because it was my decision to stay. Everything around me was pointing to the direction of the exit. Away from OT. Away from UP. But for reasons that even i cannot comprehend, I’m still here. Still struggling to keep the “relationship” floating. Trying to be happy in a world where I don’t belong.

Nobody seems to understand me here in CAMP. Believe me, the feeling is mutual. Don’t get me wrong. It is not OT’s problem that I’m lost in its world. I’ve caused this to myself. Why I wrote Occupational Therapy in the UPCAT form is another story. What is absurd is why I chose to stay lost when I have the option to pack and leave… for good. And finally put my life in order. Hopefully.

I’ve stayed with OT for TWO long years. Yes. You can call me stupid. I was lost for two years. I still am. And will probably remain lost and stupid until 2009. Uh huh. I actually have plans on finishing OT. How stupid can that be?

You see, I cannot seem to leave OT. Okay, I will let that sink in first. Nah. It is not about staying for the sake of being in a (ehem) prestigious school. An OT student’s life in CAMP is anything but rosy. In a nutshell our life here is toxicity + hell = normal week. I’d exchange prestigious with sleeptime without second thoughts. Can “Number 1 University” save me from premature burn-out?! I don’t think so. I can find a gazillion reasons to leave OT and not a single reason to stay. But when I have convinced myself that I’m ready to seek for another course and school, an odd thing happens. I suddenly and weirdly feel the need to stay. Yuck. Maybe, just maybe, in the depths of my being I have learned to love OT. Double yuck.

Well, at least I have a reason that drives me to stay in OT. No matter how cheesy and yucky.

I was sitting with my cousin, Anj, at the waiting lounge of PhilEquity Funds, Inc. at around three in the afternoon last Friday when a frazzled middle-aged lady came in the door and with all the drama she can manage blurted out, “Finally! I found your office!!!” That’s not a hint of relief though but more on anger. She continued her litany, “I’ve been to this floor and this floor and this floor… the information doesn’t even know your office!!!”

I and my cousin exchanged “whatever” looks. We waited on how the receptionist will pull this through. She calmly said, “Ma’am our office number is listed on the directory of the building.”

Bravo! We thought that should put that snooty woman on her place but we were wrong. “But the information center of the building doesn’t know it!” Fine. There are times you just can’t win. Especially dealing with close-minded self-righteous people.